Monkey is The Root of All Evil

Recent news stories indicate that monkeys may be a major contributor to global warming. Consider the following:

• Monkeys don't recycle.

Monkeys have not signed on to the Kyoto Protocol.

Many monkeys hold key positions in energy companies, hence the term "monkey business".

While this may all appear to be circumstantial evidence, I believe that "Where's smoke, there's monkeyshines."

These clever little creatures may well be leading humanity down the path to annihilation. Anyone who has seen the Planet of the Apes movies knows what the game plan is.

Once they get rid of us, then begins The Monkey Millenium. McDonalds will be replaced by Rhesus Pieces and the top rock band will be fronted by Bonobo. The only human who might survive is Jane Goodall.

To combat this threat, we must take action. Report monkeys who drive SUV's or other gas guzzlers. Encourage your monkey friends to see Al Gore's movie. Plant trees next to monkey bars.

I am hopeful that if we work together, we can turn global warming into global 70 degrees F.